what happened in april? may? early june?


I am going to try and piece together evidence of what happened in may to now (early june) 

I went to a few exhibitions now that they are opening up... and experimented with things here and there (doesn't feel like much but below is visual compilation of the things I saw and did) 

the most recent exhibit I saw was the damien hirst at newport street gallery (June) 




















































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31.5.21 it’s weird. it’s like I’ve started the academic year with a strong, obsessive approach which I’m interested in and now I’m void, floating, trying to find footing. it’s not like I’m not interested in anything anymore, but it feels like it. I’ve been going to shows, but maybe I need to go to more. there’s something inherently wrong here, perhaps I should leave the focus on the whiteboard for a bit (even though I haven’t done much on it) and add something new to the mix. I’m getting lethargic and fatigued everyday and I constantly feel like waves of oversleeping even when I haven’t. I taste nothing. I want to be distracted and I allow myself to get distracted, with a looming guilt hovering over me. I know I have more to me than this! I don’t know what’s wrong. I might focus on writing. I can create a lot from words. I’m going to look at my video snippets and see what they are saying. I want to state things the way they are. it feels like I’ve died but my body is still here and I do not like that feeling. something is keeping me alive and I need to investigate what that is. is the cadaver synonymous with the ghost?

I closed my eyes to not sleep but have a moment of regathering. instead, I sleep, and I know I have slept because there is a dead taste in my mouth when I wake and the time had fast forward an hour without permission. I am annoyed at this fatigue that won’t leave me. are you the ghost or am I? are we one and the same?