I'm dropping some recent drawings and manipulated images here... I thoroughly enjoyed doing these drawings, they all felt like a record of some sort. the first one reminded me of dean's diagrams, which I love. I'm also reading on and off, the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime these months (even though its such a short book). but there is something comforting about the way it is written, through christopher's logical and almost mechanical way of seeing the world. it makes things very clear, yet full of questions at the same time. there are also numerous diagrams which I found inspirational.
anyway, I had a dream on the 27th that stood out particularly, out of the six dreams that night. I'll drop the nonsensical record I made of it right after waking up, half conscious:
27.2.21 house, walkthrough game like haunted house, curtains to walk through and trick separation of two people. first room, animatronic seagull large that came forward with its beak like a trap motion sensor. opened door and saw the motion, waited. went in and tried again didn’t move. but only that one motion scattered around room like exhibition (but with home things on ground and surfaces too) a complicated looking professional monitor looking thing with tiny dials and printed labels and buttons sliders that follows you around - think the first camera once you come in tracks your images locks on and the monitor follows your every move and zooms in. the image is a bit ghostly leaving an imprint every second so sort of staggered (like those ig filters) but I saw myself and how I moved, my eyes hollow my outline subsided . I thought this is genius this is exactly what I need. scattered around was similar contraptions and devices I thought were relevant and pertinent to my line of thought. I thought this person really gets it . I must talk to the artist, how did they get these things. the set up from here was already strange like it was half a home and half exhibition the lighting was just enough and flickered slightly but maybe imagination. uncomfortable yellowish basement light and the seagull gave pressure to the room, fear it would move again. but too fascinated by the monitor. also other devices that looked chunky and past but also completely new to my eyes. perhaps they use these often in the ‘professional field’. I walk on realising my mum and this child toddler were ahead. it was strange, the rest is a regular house. I pass a room and glance in to see if it is another thing that pops up or exhibits but it looked like a plain office, left as if in a hurry papers spread across table. walked on saw the toddler in one of the rooms possibly the office, and my mum through glass in laundry place outside walking in. the overall house had things scattered everywhere. after, my mum said the person was gonna sell it already even though there are so many things, complaining, annoyed. I said there’s useful things in there! Thinking of the works the monitor how I’m going to physically take the giant seagull. Notion that the person died so the house was left, and that person possibly my birth dad. and I realised perhaps after dream before waking, those works including the segull and the monitor were actually mine. they’ve always been mine.
this drawing tries to illustrate a half-second dream I had right before waking up. it didn't feel like a very deep sleep. but I had a glimpse of this strange scene as if i was witnessing a playdoh version of a sandwich factory, but there were cartoon-like rats in the sandwich. it was one shot and i woke up.
I was playing around with different ways to diagram words and drew a tv like monitor around it. i think there is something about placing a tiny figure (like in the venn diagram stupid existential drawing) that really intrigues me because you instantly get a sense of scale because you relate to being a 'figure'. and something about an overwhelmingly big screen or, venn diagram, makes me think of 1984, propaganda, control, brainwashing, etc. This is also somehow making me think of the Netflix series maniac, just the scenes where owen is in that tiny futuristic but still sad (in a modern way) where everything is quite white or monotoned and i think there were neon lights outside. a sad sentiment and loneliness of modern life in cubes, lack of real colour, high rise buildings, routines. even family relationships are just a front for the character. anyway, the words I chose in the drawing here are quite vague, I hope to take more specific words next time.
