THAT'S IT, I'M AT MY BREAKING POINT
this time from inactivity. I swear to god if I don't do something substantial before my crit next week I will combust. its not like I am uninspired, it feels like there's too much to do. I feel like I know the ways in which I could do something (e.g. scan more things, physically write on the paper I bought) but of what? I think to figure that out I need to dig deeper into my definition of documentation - what am I actually making work about? it seems empty, void of content. it's so BORING. no substance. I wouldn't be caught dead with boring work.
maybe I can work this out by (mind map) diagramming. I liked what dean said, that some of his diagrams he just drops down, not intending for anyone to see. but some that are meant to be seen, more like artworks, he said he'd spend more time on. I really liked his prints - the diagrams that have more photo-like elements, I think I'm thinking of the freudian death drive one. it looked like something straight out of a biology text book.
speaking of output, (I don't even know what work I'm doing!!!) yesterday we had that meeting with candice about the interim show and it was super cofusing and stressed me out a lot even thinking about presenting a work digitally???? I only have my digital drawings right now???? perhaps I could do something completely not image based but something almost dependent on the site to do with documentation????? I don't know. I don't even know what my work is about right now. I got to figure it out NOW.
~ I'm looking again at the shingo tamagawa animation piece titled paprika that I came across incidentally on twitter. I WISH I could make something like that!!! I don't know what it is (well, I do, its the combination of the delicate and mesmerising and never-seen-before illustrated scenes, coloured and angled and directed perfectly, in random dream-like logic and sequence, and the simple pretty but eerie and anxious music in the background!!! like an epic dream you got a chance to revisit!!! what a wonderful sentiment to have this work in existence) but it moves me every time I watch it. (I also need to watch the film, paprika as well, unrelated but same name). could I do something inspired by this style but simpler perhaps? with photos*? own music? own drawings? I think the upcoming animation project workshops will become really helpful... (what are some ways to manipulate a still image e.g. fully coloured painting? also, maybe I could trace a video frame by frame... its the same concept as how I previously painted, but moving?) but WHAT OF the animation??? I still have no content. but perhaps its one of the cases where the meaning will come out of the process. ugh.
~ use of 'mudane' 'everyday' forms of presenting information like in a classroom, work setting (the System...) it is defiably NOT a form you associate with the home, relaxation (like the beach!! and the holiday concept, time increments to CUT you from that human working class life, an illusion you are enjoying it (life), and the AMATEUR tourist video, and the SOUVENIR and the miniature). things like the whiteboard, blackboard, powerpoint, podcast, textbook, classroom poster/flyer, worksheets, bullet-pointed, emails, sticker labels, etc. (*animation with whiteboard?? get sister to write something?)
-I went to watch the animation I came across on yt again from disney, 'goofy hello aloha' there's something awfully real about the work life to holiday theme)
~ 'archive as medium' should be almost endless? an abundance of mundane images. together as a whole? an object, a place, a fictional place (diagrammed, drawn obsessively?*) *FOUND amateur tourist videos of fake places like amusement parks, waterparks, diorama etc,
---'beach' I am using this camera at the beach. (sunny, screens)
....tbc?