so when I, as a twenty-two year old now, 'discover' his music more whilst scrolling through twitter and seeing someone's tweet with the surprisingly HD video of a live stage by him to the song 'smooth criminal', I was hooked. by the beat, the theatrics, the energy, I understood now why everyone was so mesmerised by him. his music and charisma was so great. then, in typical millennial fashion I browsed on youtube, to come across many interviews with him and various people around him about the sexual abuse allegations against young children. this is the first video I watched, where I was completely swept by his side of the story, I believed his innocence:
from this video, he denied the allegations.
- he truly believes there's nothing wrong with sharing a bed with these young boys (he did not share the actual bed with them, he slept on the floor, and even if he did, he said, it is okay because he did everything out of love. he said when he looked at children he sees the face of god.)
-he created Neverland, this ranch with ferris wheels and various amusement park facilities, for young boys he'd invite to, to provide them with something he never experienced as a child.
-he's helped thousands of children, with cancer, in the 'healing process' of experiencing some fun before their possible death. (he talked about the boy he accused of abusing, he led him to climb this tree, he called the giving tree, because it's part of 'boyhood'. he said it was a beautiful moment.)
-he believes these allegations were all for the money. 'the love for money is the root of all evil', he said. and that parents had power over these children. the interviewer asked, why did he pay the first family so much money if he was innocent. and then they cut to an attorney as he couldn't speak on it, who explained that he was subject to the most intrusive investigations, like photographing and examining his private parts etc. if money could make this all go away, wouldn't you do it too?
-he talked through the horrible abusive experience in the police station where they manhandled them so roughly he dislocated both shoulders. he showed the camera how restricted his movement is at that point. also, the swelling above his wrist, where he was handcuffed so tight in a way it damaged his back and it keeps him awake at night. also, he was locked in the bathroom for like forty five minutes with feces all over, and officers throwing sarcastic remarks and not letting him out.
-the interviewer also asked questions like would you let your children sleep with another man and he said of course, if I knew him and loved him, then yes. and the interviewer asked the question again and if the man had suspicion of being a pedophile and Jackson still said yes, if he truly knew him because he knew how the media and rumours twist the truth. he said he'd slit his wrists first before even doing that to a child. he loves children.
I felt very torn when I watched more videos, like this one, where his personal maid came out with these disturbing things she'd seen on the ranch (like little boys underwear around his room and jacuzzi, and him petting and being affectionate with children that were not his own etc.)
It is very hard to watch and not know where the truth lies. everyone feels like an unreliable narrator with cases like this. but you cannot deny how ground-breaking his music is. it's the whole 'separate the artist with the art' thing again. is it wrong or right? you can be a disgusting human being and make amazing art. can you still appreciate the art whilst knowing how horrible the creator is? at the end of the day, I can only absorb what inherently unreliable information there is out there (because they're from humans) and... not even be able to make a final conclusion that is truthful. I can't help feeling sad for him because his life ended that way and, if he was innocent, have all these allegations thrown at him. it's a cruel world, but I'm also being cruel if the allegations were true for believing him. I think it's a very blurry line that can reach no real destination... but the least I can do is zoom in on visuals that interest me as an artist while thinking of all these things..
like those Neverland images and footage. of course, I was looking at amusement park imagery these past few months (which ties into artificial landscapes and childhood and all) but I was also looking at peter pan and neverland as a concept in first year, especially when I painted that one painting with the rabbit standing in the middle. it was a work about age and youth and never growing up. in a way, Jackson was peter pan and he invited all these little lost boys to his private island. in the video above, an entertainment journalist described him as the pied piper, I think, cause he always had a group of young boys following him around. his intent seemed so pure. but looking at it zoomed out, if you were exposed to hearing about so many cases of child abuse, it's not a stretch to say that image is at the least, strange.
