above is a very brightened detail (I didn't realise I was drawing on the iPad in the dark, feeling all this melancholy and anger, so I had the screen brightness really low (though it looked really bright) and when I went into normal light the actual drawing was very dark, but it sort of worked with the dark news and ideas..) I started this new drawing after having this sad and horrified outrage for the blm events and everything afterwards and the whole racist ideology. I had to get out my digital canvas and just start drawing... I was also listening to the podcast 1619 which is a brilliant podcast delivered on these ideas/some history that I didn't know about.
I used a bright angry red to start... I was thinking about the words I could lay down first this time.. the words 'knee, neck' seemed too graphic, but at the same time it is inherently graphic, everything is. the podcast helped a lot, they were outlining the part of history when Thomas Jefferson outlined the united states declaration of independence (and how, as he was writing it, actually had a slave with him to cater to his needs) and how ironic it was that he was writing these words at the time... 'LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS'... I laid out these words first... later, they will be covered up.. like how it was in real life perhaps.
anyway, I won't go into the podcast too much but it did provide a very intertwined landscape for me to navigate through in this particular drawing. I've only just started, and I have no idea how it will turn out, but I hope I can capture at least a fraction of what I felt when I first heard about the news...
I realise this is really different to the other drawings I have so far - especilaly visually in colour - but I think it's important I keep authentic to the true feelings I'm feeling as the 'protagonist' of exploring this planet.. that I find out that this type of thing happens in the world and has been happening throughout history when I wasn't even here yet... it is an angry hopelessness that we can only combat with the fight with anti-racism... and drawing this was more of a violent outlet than any of the other drawings. I will continue this (and the podcast) and see where it ends up.
(above, I did see two human heads - and I did use imagery from la jetee for inspiration when he was being experimented on and trapped underground by these higher-ups)
(below, really dark, how it looks now..)
