Ever since penultimatum and olive/elena/sophia/trinh/molly encouraging me to get the password for the WCA Instagram to update their story (cause I really enjoy documenting for my personal life as well - especially events like concerts) I’ve been really enjoying it, so I was really happy when agata asked me to do the same thing for bad painting. Recording the whole thing whilst trying not to miss any important moments, utilising the zoom, is something that you need to focus for (and have arm strength that lasts for hours). Afterwards, it takes hours to cut them into digestible fifteen-second intervals for a social media outlet that is instagram. It is hard for me personally because I am always bombarded with choices to make, what to eliminate and what to keep, and I am really quite bad at decisions like this, so I always end up having a super long story but it tells a comprehensive Story, you know? and to put on the appropriate caption that is not too long but not too short, and I know that not having a caption sometimes can make people just skip through it cause it’s such a long story. Even if it’s just what is said in that video, it’s enough for people (at least me) to keep watching. That’s why, when I edit my concert videos, I like to put on lyrics. But anyway, after the event and a quick drink, I went back and stayed up until 4am editing those videos watching it all back and picking out the best bits. It’s always a lengthy process but I love being able to watch it back easily on highlights. That’s what I like about Instagram, it’s kind of strange but it acts like some sort of memory storage (well I guess everything digital is) that you can access very easily and quickly, whilst simultaneously sharing it with everyone. Something very private and public. Sometimes, all the memory I have of the event is my footage from it in the form of the highlight. It’s sad, but great at the same time.
I suppose this has something to do with the unease I feel of not being able to keep every single memory ever. I would capture every single second of my life if I could. I want to experience things more than once, even the bad times. It reminds you of who you are, who you once was. It’s kind of like, wishing you could travel back in time to observe how you interacted with things and people when you were a kid. I wish somebody was around to record me all the time when I was younger. I did that with my sister when she was born, we’re 11 years apart and at that time I just got my first digital camera so I was constantly taking pictures of this new specimen in my life. I recorded her when she was throwing angry tantrums, when she was crawling around on the carpet, when she opened one of those birthday cards that sung the same old song every time you flipped it. It’s all in the past now. Time is just so strange. If I think about it too much it makes me feel sad. But that’s the reality of it all, might as well document my life to some extent even though it’s all going to be gone one day. I want to live my life to the fullest whilst living my life in the past as well, does that make sense? The memory lane is where I like to be the most. (If I go down memory lane in the present... what does that mean? Hm)
Another thing from bad painting: I loved the decorations and how they sat scattered around the space, especially before the event when it was strangely light in the lecture theatre. I posted this caption with some photos:
the cheerful decorations from bad painting prize 2020 at @wcapainting looking like remnants of a party at a deserted island.. kind of fun kind of sad... sad-fun, a fun-sad blast of the past
the cheerful decorations from bad painting prize 2020 at @wcapainting looking like remnants of a party at a deserted island.. kind of fun kind of sad... sad-fun, a fun-sad blast of the past
That blown up palm tree made me think of that one photo of that fake tree Martin Parr took in the Ocean dome in japan, which I used in my MCP. Again, a strange imitation of nature used as decoration / celebration. Strange plastic flower Hawaiian Leis laid scattered on lecture room chairs. Soon to be worn by the special guests of that night. Really strange to see such bright sunny decorations light up the night. The overwhelming ness of colour made me think of the urge I had of using neon colours somehow - especially after talking to Christy about the background of her painting in Copeland - she said she used makeup pigment, actually. I think neon colours is definitely a tricky one to work with, Elise did it really well in her painting in our group tutorial/interim (the colours around it made it seem neon but I think it was just really fluorescent) The decorations also reminded me of that beginning scene in Rango, which I love so much, another film I’ve watched multiple times and will still go back watching. I wonder why... perhaps it is seeing the insane character development of him from being a domestic pet who only knew the confines of his glass box and his imagination with his props and his ambition to be a star - to the point of delusion (god, this is reminding me of the guy from don’t f**k with cats, he wanted the fame.. and loved film..) and when he was forcefully thrown into the middle of nowhere he managed to become the sheriff of the town - and continues on by sheer acting and it’s all smoke and mirrors (I’m finding out know that this phrase came from the magical illusion trick where things vanish into smoke, by a hidden projection, smoke, and mirror.) but by the end he find his true self.. those surreal scenes where the spirit of the west talks to him was really quite profound. A lot of this takes place on/around the road he first falls off too. something about ‘the road’ is significant, like a fast journey, but he was dropped there, to ‘the side’ of it. The Side of The Road. roadkill. Somehow I’m thinking maybe this could link to the train idea I have in my head, I’ll make a post about that soon. Anyway, I was saying about the beginning scene, the plastic fish (which became huge in the surreal illusion/dream he had) (actually, a lot of this seems like a reference to surrealism even) and the toy mannequin with one arm?, the fake pond, everything. Again, the fake nature, but also with decoration, delusion, celebration, in broad daylight, a world that lives in imagination...
