I had the most stressful death dream, I was talking to my family, but it was in the past, then an earthquake happened (reminiscent of the one in nz) then we see a tsunami chasing us, then the perspective panned and suddenly we're diving into the erupting volcano and I knew that was it for me... I wrote down a gibberish, more detailed description but, what strikes me about the memory of it was how cinematic it was seeing that lava outside the window was... and the certainty of death... everything was REALLY coming to an end.... I was really afraid.... really afraid.... it was like john martin's painting.... it felt like that magnitude and the glowing lava was not far off either... I kind of want to make a collage or something ... it would make a good painting... the contrast between the indoors, domestic, just a normal (unhappy) family looking out, nonchalant at the disaster coming....
rough entry after waking up:
intense very fast death dream that I literally thought was real: in a small greyish hotel-room like place, modern, clean. My mum, my stepfather (who is out of the picture now) and I were in the living room/kitchen. there began an earthquake, there was a smaller one before but this one .. this one was real, it shook impossibly violently, in the way that only the end the world could produce such a movement, it was sideways, it was up and down, he let out a oh! and my mum probably did as well, sounds of alarm and that jolted me into realising the fatality of it, I knew we could die, the movement was so big that I bounced up and down and across the room and under a doorway, that’s where you’re supposed to be right, even tho it’s a bit late for that now. outside, an immediate tsunami/giant fatal waves approach, I see this, everything catastrophic through the window view. a frame. there was no escape and all I could do was jump on the table with my mum. we might have been hugging and watching the horror unfold. at this point of just before death only fear grips us. then, the undeniably dark rocky side of a volcano, I say it first.. volcano! I point, even though we were all transfixed by utter terror. Our perspective through this window and glass was impossibly bending in a way that it seems we are travelling across this volcano slowly, soon we see the red streaks, the red hot lava than ensues, then the tip of it, impossibly hot and fatal looking, I knew we were about to die, we reach the top and it opens up, there was lava / mud like pool inside the volcano, it was like a circular pool down there, and in we go, we fall.. fast... and I genuinely believed that death is coming and thought, this is it.. I heard my mum say please don't let us burn to death repeatedly, but she only said it twice before we rapidly fell and made contact with the glowing sludge, and comically, when we did, it was like a game screen, and a deep game voice echoed.. death by burning (?) and the end screen fades white against the background of lava. I wake. and I am so thankful to be alive. that scene of the volcano slowly moving in our view was in a way that is only shown when something is huge, it was a slow cinematic shot of gliding across this mountain. with very dark grey and glowing red orange streaks of lava. it was quite beautiful and horrific. kind of like the sublime.
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| The Great Day of His Wrath, John Martin, 1851-3 |
intense very fast death dream that I literally thought was real: in a small greyish hotel-room like place, modern, clean. My mum, my stepfather (who is out of the picture now) and I were in the living room/kitchen. there began an earthquake, there was a smaller one before but this one .. this one was real, it shook impossibly violently, in the way that only the end the world could produce such a movement, it was sideways, it was up and down, he let out a oh! and my mum probably did as well, sounds of alarm and that jolted me into realising the fatality of it, I knew we could die, the movement was so big that I bounced up and down and across the room and under a doorway, that’s where you’re supposed to be right, even tho it’s a bit late for that now. outside, an immediate tsunami/giant fatal waves approach, I see this, everything catastrophic through the window view. a frame. there was no escape and all I could do was jump on the table with my mum. we might have been hugging and watching the horror unfold. at this point of just before death only fear grips us. then, the undeniably dark rocky side of a volcano, I say it first.. volcano! I point, even though we were all transfixed by utter terror. Our perspective through this window and glass was impossibly bending in a way that it seems we are travelling across this volcano slowly, soon we see the red streaks, the red hot lava than ensues, then the tip of it, impossibly hot and fatal looking, I knew we were about to die, we reach the top and it opens up, there was lava / mud like pool inside the volcano, it was like a circular pool down there, and in we go, we fall.. fast... and I genuinely believed that death is coming and thought, this is it.. I heard my mum say please don't let us burn to death repeatedly, but she only said it twice before we rapidly fell and made contact with the glowing sludge, and comically, when we did, it was like a game screen, and a deep game voice echoed.. death by burning (?) and the end screen fades white against the background of lava. I wake. and I am so thankful to be alive. that scene of the volcano slowly moving in our view was in a way that is only shown when something is huge, it was a slow cinematic shot of gliding across this mountain. with very dark grey and glowing red orange streaks of lava. it was quite beautiful and horrific. kind of like the sublime.