I'm still unsure about how it looks, considered adding a near black background (tried it digitally) but perhaps not, at least not yet. I added some details to the bottom two figures and up the leg of the top figure, and I think I like it from afar... but there's still a lot more to go... there seems to be something missing... I have the meeting with Sarah on Friday where she is going to pick who's going to be in the exhibition after, and frankly I do not have the confidence that my idea is strong enough since I kind of changed it (originally my idea focused on contrasts, and the verso/recto idea. but now I had a big brainstorm in the weekend and geared my ideas towards the fragility of human life instead, which to be honest is the whole point of my studio practice. what else can I say?) but I am going to give it my all anyway and convey to sarah as best I can how much research and thought I put (struggled through) in this project. I just hope she sees I tried hard. To be very honest I don't know what I'm getting to with this painting, but I know what I am currently thinking around these ideas.
in fact, I'll drop down the notes from my brainstorm from the weekend:
Raphael: my mother's health situation, body, realised again how fragile our human bodies are. they store our soul and life source... without it we are practically, nothing. so thanking them. hoping they hold up. we are not well oiled machines, we contaminate and self destruct. we harm ourselves, perhaps without meaning to or, having no choice eg starvation or addiction or disease. and it’s not just skin or muscles but organs too, real pumping organs: and the blood, Liquid. We are solid and liquid but also something that doesn’t have form, the soul. formless. when we are born, we have this frame, that grows into a bigger frame, and yet it gets bigger, and stops, then recoils, malfunctions, Bares the journey of life for us until death. they are the front lines in war. So to be joined at the hip with someone, that’s something to be treasured. when a soul connects with another soul without even touching. Raphael did that - he inspires me, and all generations of artists before me and to come. he passed away early, on the same day he was born __ years later. life is a cycle that ends in death. the day we are born, we begin to die. but it doesn’t mean to march straight towards death. it means we have to grasp much harder at the life we are blessed with, in the time being, cling on for life(?). everything is temporary, especially our bodies. (Basically, to be realistic, meaning quite negative, but also hopeful because our bodies allow beautiful things to happen- to sense the world and people around us and. Most importantly come to know yourself) not just body fragile either, but our minds/soul. Basically we are very fragile creatures. but there is a beauty in that. it makes it even more precious. beautiful fragility, in the things they can achieve. and do strong things in another sense. combined, they can achieve the world. Our care for others- family, friends.. cherish.. bc death can take them any day... what Nelson said about painting as (human?) being.. about us, about others, about our relationships with others.
one body after another.. death chases us, one chase after another, endless.. but death has no choice but to take life (refer to tales from earth sea- life without death is not life) for it is the law of the universe.. as we know it. And it pains deeply, grief is the worst pain of all, I can feel it in my bones even if it hasn’t happened yet.. that is how powerful it is. it’s an overwhelming anxiety. Sometimes you just want to stop in your tracks and let it get to you already, it is like a game of tag.. right from childhood.. the day u were born.. it can take you the moment you breathe, or before that.. it is the most powerful force in existence.. but we exist for a reason, surely (refer to alec song) death = life chasers? We are also life chasers. we are death and life? whole life is a life and death situation, fight or flight. when we flee we see. -and to refer back to raphael: battle of cascina, also fragile, and his relationship with Michelangelo too. But he showed strength in his actions, his strong generosity, his strive for his own version of perfection, and not wanting/needing to surpass Michelangelo in the skill in anatomy is one of these strengths as well. And that inspires others, and himself. sparks. light up life. No, he did not cheat death, but he achieved so much in life.
-title? life chasers. We are all life chasers, but (And) so is death. We are all living the Fight for life. Yearning, yearning for a breath of life (refer to song)
-guess it does reflect my studio work: that humans are fragile and death is inevitable at any point in time, but life is also beautiful, and we are weak in seeing that. But we have to cling on. For the sake of yourself and others.
notes from laptop:
-joined at the hip, inseparable, from yourself, like two sides of the paper, light and dark in you…
what nelson said. Painting as being, human being,
[Photography, memories, begins like a liquid, feel his way around it. Thinking about space, how much can I take out the image to communicate.. psychology of image. existence, relationships with each other. nature of our own being.
paint - ideal carrier - matter and sth else, explored (matter and memory, matter and presence) in paint, - good at having that kind of relationship. too much of matter, loses. Too much of ghost image, balance between the two. Being and non being. has to be living and being and being a human being . us and our actions and our stories. nothing complex. complex enough. our stories and relationships.]
Detached and connected at the same time. To be joined at the hip.. detached from yourself?
Maybe I should kind of draw the back out VERY faintly…? do I need to
Colours of the soul floats towards the surface of the flesh
Surface - skin. What is fake what is real what does your being look like, if it could look like ? feel like? Could I put the feel like into look like? The feeling into visual? Not complex, complex enough, ‘simply complex’…
Raphael: learning Pietro as a young boy, find difficulties in learning beautiful details of nude figures, strove with incredible intensity to learn, and succeeded, though not needing to succeed Michelangelo
What to say.. read in depth into all the resources you’ve given, and for me the ideas that stick to me the most is his character, how he strove on to achieve his craft and didn’t give up and knew where he should extend his talents… from those accounts his character seems to be all-loving, all-generous, which is a big contrast to Michelangelo. The fact that he was doing sketches from his work without permission(supposedly) seems to be an important point in their relationship. And even if he showed it to him himself.
In my mind, he seems to be this glowing positive energy that is inspiring to us aspiring artists. He wasn’t afraid to learn, teach his skills to others (did he let his students copy?)
Fast drawing - slow painting …
What is the narrative here?
The thing about painting as copyist -
Originally I wanted to redraw and redraw until it might not seem like the work anymore, but by tracing it and tracing on board, I am learning the drawing in another way. Tracing might seem taboo, like cheating, but I believe it is a great tool for learning. You gain respect for the original and its master. It really opened my eyes to how just talented the man is. The fluidity in the composition, enlarged , roughly proportionate board, this dramatic change in context/scenario gives an entirely different identity to the figures. Could there be some narrative within and overall ? …
