"having the context of being a cat-in-a-hat toy to ‘entertain guests’ in wealthy families’ homes is something worth diving into. Raising the question of, are you entertained? do I bring you joy? did I make you smile? and the fact that the figure seems to be moving up the stairs but stood still for a moment to look back at you… like you said something intriguing or something you shouldn’t have.. or it felt something on you that it wants…"
This is a part of a post I made a few weeks ago about this painting. Now that it is finished, at least for now, I wonder if I am viewing it differently. I've been looking at it for so long, the exciting element of it has died down a bit. Maybe there was a disturbing or surprising aspect to it when you first look at it, but I'll never know that feeling myself. From looking at the real cat-in-the-hat in the museum of childhood, to sketching it roughly as a doodle in relation to the other things in the display, to making that ugly little study freehand, to taking the cat out of its hat context and into the morphing of my face as a landscape, to replacing my head with its head in that photo, it was a lot of turmoil finding the right THING to continue this disturbing imagery with.
Just getting to this stage was a mess, but the process of painting it was even MORE agonizing, especially in the beginning, when I was painting in low light no table conditions in my room during the break, at this stage, I wanted to throw it away...
 |
the confusing proportions of the image to a
n A4 size made me print extra of the wrong areas |
 |
I was left with an awkward gap which I
had to trace separately/make up |
 |
| I actually liked how ghostly it looked at this stage... |
 |
the most disgusting thing i've ever seen .. when everything started to go wrong
and I grew increasingly frustrated |
 |
| too confused and indecisive about colour choice... |
 |
| agonizingly trying to decide the colours with digital processes |
 |
| still not right.. |
 |
| somehow got even more revolting... even scratched into it as a last resort |
 |
what it looked like when I finally brought it into uni after break, I thought
it finally maybe had the tiniest sliver of hope |
|
 |
there are weird abstract cartoon heads in the grey at this point
which I didn't know if I should keep |
 |
agonizing over the structure of the building, it is still
wonky and the perspective I couldn't get right |
 |
I was still in turmoil about how to colour elements such
as the building, and kept changing my mind |
 |
| adding the pupils in finally gave it some character |
 |
| finished if not nearly... it is hard to know when to stop painting... |
Am I happy with how it turned out? Well, I am happy how different it looks to the initial stages with all the horrible yellows and greens. I always try and use colours I don't usually use to change up my colour palette but every time I use yellows or greens it looks disgusting and I somehow go back to the same pinks purples and blues... how can I be so sick of these same colours but also be drawn to them at the same time? I really need to work on colour mixing... and composition... and everything...
In the end I also decided not to leave the small figure in (on top of the building) because I realise it was too many focal points, and I wanted the focus to be on the figure. I think this is the painting I spent the most on and off time on, had the most times where I wanted to give up. Considering those things, I think it turned out pretty well. As for the meaning, I will go more into that in another post.
